CONTRADICTIONS DO NOT EXIST?

while you explore my body
with those smug, complacent fingers
that seem
so sure
of the response they arouse,

and while
your lips
ignite
a path of fire
as they trail down my back,

i'm busy gathering
whatever's left,

of my denial,
my resistance,
my inherent contradictions,


that force me to stop you
while desire fills my being
every time you touch me.


i often wonder
what strange streak
forces me
to resist nature
deny myself
and drag you, too,


along my masochistic path...

hey, did i ever allege
that you
were on a self-destructive trip?

well,
you aren't alone
you have company...
... me!