A DISTURBING FORCE

that carefully cultivated 
facade
of cool composure
came crumbling 
to my feet...
as you sat
hurling pebbles
into the quiet stillness
that was me
(were you jealous perhaps?)
the turbulent force,
you -
tormenting me into a response,
would i lose in your win?
or win through your loss?
the game might end,
but i
will never
be the same again!

ADAM'S APPLE

you took me to the stars
and dropped me
mercilessly.
"its better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all"
whoever said that 
couldn't
possibly 
have tasted
that bitter fruit called love...


or was he a sadist too?

NOSTALGIA

while the diamond-laden,
safari-clad
yuppies
stood gushing
over the constellations
being projected
inside the planetarium,
the beggar boy gazed
from his bed
on the pavement
at the sky overhead...
and wondered,
what the fuss was all about!

LONELY WITH YOU

too long have i tried
to bind you,
and forced you to wear faces
that do not belong,

faces 
that i've been saving
ever since i learnt to dream.
i'm sorry i tried to change you
into someone you could not be,
and failing,
and aching,
the fault was mine, i know,
weaving
a web around you -
of possessiveness,
of love,
of romance...
i forgot that i chose you,
not
for being who i wanted
but for being who you were...
so i release you
this moment
you're free from my shackles!
i may care for you for ever,
even spend my life with you,
but i will also try and learn
how not to feel lonely…

…when i'm with you...

Words Words Words

Words
Words
Words
Your words
My words
Our words
Words raining
Words pouring
Words reigning
All around me...
I'm so exhausted by their blows,
I want to pick a dagger,
and go
Swish
Swish
Swish
on a killing spree,
murder them all,
Turn them into weightless feathers
Send them flying off
Far away
Out of my life...
Leaving me with my
Silence…
Just,
Silence…

CONTRADICTIONS DO NOT EXIST?

while you explore my body
with those smug, complacent fingers
that seem
so sure
of the response they arouse,

and while
your lips
ignite
a path of fire
as they trail down my back,

i'm busy gathering
whatever's left,

of my denial,
my resistance,
my inherent contradictions,


that force me to stop you
while desire fills my being
every time you touch me.


i often wonder
what strange streak
forces me
to resist nature
deny myself
and drag you, too,


along my masochistic path...

hey, did i ever allege
that you
were on a self-destructive trip?

well,
you aren't alone
you have company...
... me!

BONDED LABOR

the struggle must cease -
this tug-of-war
between an inner urge
and the part of me
that's imprisoned by the world.

i must win
i must break free
Oh yeah,
i haven't forgotten
i have duties to perform -
to you
and them
and everyone else.

but how come
you never remind me,
of my duty

to myself?